Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Rovian Plot

If I was going to write a political conspiracy story about the UAE port deal, it would go something like this:

Port security in the U.S. is generally perceived as weak, but it's not enough of a hot-button issue to get Congress to approve funding to improve it. The company that is running 6 U.S. ports is being acquired by a Middle Eastern company that is more moderate than most, but still an Arab nation influenced by Islam.

In an effort to bend Washington politics to the administration's will, a deal giving control of operations to the UAE company is fast-tracked through the cabinet and, just prior to it being final, leaked to the press. Almost every congressman and senator, including those in the administration's own party, condemn the deal citing national security concerns. In addition, the mainstream and alternative media unite to question the deal. America's anti-Arab passions are exposed with even the most tolerant lefties saying that the Arab company is held to a different standard.

The Arab company delays the deal and in the following 45 days, a senator from a Southwestern state with presidential ambitions and a congressman from that same state propose a multi-billion dollar spending package that will provide the security that all U.S. ports need. With their comments about the importance of security on the record, most congressmen and senators have no choice but to vote for the bill, which the president quickly signs into law.

In the aftermath of the port security bill, the Arab company is quietly given the contract, port security is increased, and the Arab street becomes more fully aware of America's anti-Islamic attitudes.

Too bad it's all just fiction...